Loving Ourselves

Of all our landscapes in nature the prairie symbolizes to me “love of self” best.  It is not a huge glorious mountain nor a luxurious tropical rainforest.  It is simple and often overlooked.  It must love itself enough to be so simple and absolutely noticed by those of us that choose to slow down and appreciate the fine details in life.

One week after my snow boarding injury I am finally turning from black and blue, to green and yellow.  It is still entirely swelled but the swelling has spread out and moved down to my foot.

Last Friday I showed up for my hot yoga class and as I was driving to it the little voice in the back of my head whispered “maybe not realistic nor a good idea”.  So I asked my instructor if she thought I should practice – she giggled and said “really, what do you think?”.  She told me that she would love to see me in the class with my legs up the wall for the entire standing series and then participate in the seating/floor series only.  She suspected that I was not taking it easy and when I opted to just go and take care of my errands – she reiterated that she would love to see me with legs up the wall.  We both knew what she was getting at.  I was on full mom drive mode and had still not really accepted my injury.

This experience including the actual “box slide” has reminded me of how hard I push and how hard we all push ourselves – especially when we are in the throes of being the best parent we can be.  It’s as though we have simply forgotten that we can take a moment, perhaps even an entire day, and maybe we can go crazy and relax all weekend long.  The relaxing is going to look different from your pre parenting life – in fact somebody peering through your window might think you are ridiculously busy but you will know when you have let go because you will breathe easy.  It will be a joyful bonus if you actually get anything done.  If you end up having a wonderful parenting moment – bonus.  If the dogs gets walked – bonus.  Everything will be a bonus because you have no agenda.  Yes the house will probably be a mess at the end of the weekend but it always does become a mess right?  What you will have done is given an example of loving your self to your children.  They need that more than anything and we have so lost how to show up in that way.  Our society (and I do not care how much you are grounded) does influence us in this way and in all facets of our  lives.

I have been doing pretty good for me.  I did run errands that evening but it was a very fun errand.  I have spent the rest of the week letting go of things and putting my leg up more often.  I’ve had a few more than usual baths and I have done a lot of sitting on the couch.  My leg has gone from a stagnant state of hard, bruised and swollen to getting better.

I noticed this one thing about rest that I am sure many of you can relate to.  I am so darned tired that I did not realize rest actually CAN relieve it.  How could I not know that? I must have forgotten!  I wonder if that is also part of “baby brain” not only forgetting the little things but forgetting also how to take care of ourselves.

Be well my mommy and people friends – you must be well and love yourself first.  All that love you are will be overflowing as a gift to all of those that you try so hard for.

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~ by Nicole on March 21, 2012.

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