Babysitters For Breakfast – It’s a Massager, REALLY

I had a new babysitter yesterday and I am hopeful.  The thing is my children eat babysitters for breakfast.  It is not that they are all so bad but they are boys and there are four of them.  Girl babysitters seem to exude seriousness and the boys tend to show off and burn them out real fast.   I swore after our last babysitter experience I would never get a babysitter again.  But really it’s our only chance to get out and it’s been about 5 dates in 10 years which is not very good for the relationship.  So I have to keep trying for the right fit – the perfect sitter. But it is a tiring and exhausting experience.

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I left her yesterday – first time for an hour.  I was going to take this time to wrap up some of my other posts but I was filled with thought about this and this alone.

In true form as per my expectation the first hour when I was home with her and them – they showed off.  I was not impressed and I was so afraid it was not going to work.  My expectation was that if everybody could get over the excitement it could be a long-term fit but would she make it through that initial overwhelm?  I spent an hour crossing fingers thinking positive thoughts but really quite worried sick.  I know they are better when I am not home with them and the babysitter and I knew they were “liking” her generally but they are boys.  What can I say – gross, active and energetic boys.  Big sigh……

Here is a good laugh for you all – my last babysitter experience in the raw (I might have to create alias names for myself and my children…..sorry mom and dad).  This is the story as I wrote it at the time – one story among many:

So we got some new babysitters.  They are a team of homeschooled girls – one is 14 and one is 21.  We had a great success with them as in they had fun, the boys had fun and the house was in pretty good shape when I came home – not perfect but pretty good.  I asked them to focus on having fun with the boys.  We’ve had some pretty dull babysitters that were no good for our home but these girls indeed took our advice and had fun with the boys.  On the second babysitting gig one of the girls was sick and so she brought her younger brother instead of her sister as per the original time.  The” boy thing” seemed to get ramped up a notch with another boy on the scene as he was only 14 and grinned with delight at the prospect of playing in our crazy playroom and having a “fun” time which I emphasized again was the priority. 


I called home a couple of times and could tell by the noise level that things were “a little too much”.  I asked the older girl if the boys had eaten and more importantly were things okay.  She hesitated but said they were.  I asked her to put my oldest on the phone and had a brief chat with him about trying to keep babysitters that we liked.  I reminded him that though everything may seem okay it is possible that it is “a little too much”.  He agreed that things might be a little out of control but being 10 he did not have much to offer and left the phone giggling with delight.  I left it at that but got that feeling in my stomach – a sense of loss.


When I got home little people were scattered.  As I drove down the road – my oldest was running down the street upset from the playground trip where he got a rock in the face.  The babysitters and other three boys were heading into the alley to take the back entrance to the house.  By the time I pulled up the sitters were out the front door obviously checking on him but instead met both of us.  It was okay he is 10 and can walk home alone and they were watching for him.  None the less things were awry and I was expecting the worst.


In a quick briefing I was told about a bike incident but no details were given just that “there was an incident with the bike”.  The older girl expressed that it had been harder than the first time but that she was happy to babysit again which made me feel a little relieved.  She is the oldest of three siblings – two of which are 2 boys so perhaps the energy and chaos was just normal to her (she had smiled a lot about boys and her brothers last time she came).  I paid up and suggested a little bit of planning for next time – something to balance out the day that is low energy and that they love like play dough.  They fun aspect they had that nailed but a little balance was needed too.


After they were gone I went into the house and discovered a nice surprise!  In the house sitting on the coffee table in my living room table was my SEX TOY – pink and standing tall, proud, and noble in the middle of the room.  Unfortunately I had been pretty casual about the thing and always insisted to the boys that it was a massager.  I had it hidden but the boys find everything.  So when I excitedly asked what this was doing out I got the usual “what’s the big deal mom it’s just a massager”.  Well maybe at 10, 8, 5 and 5 that is believable but at 14 and 21, I think not.  So now I am thinking OMG this thing came out and was probably whipped around, fired up for the massage effect and the babysitters probably wanted to cry or throw up or go home like fast!  I could picture them discussing it and wanting to put it away but not wanting to touch it and I could imagine them going home and telling their mom about the big pink “thing” on the table at my house. 


Oh my for goodness sake!  I think I might have to tell the boys what this thing is so that at least the older ones will think twice and at very least stop “little brothers” from bringing it out.  As of now I have opted for putting it in my safe.  Open conversation about sex is supposed to be important but I am not sure if I am willing to share on that level yet.


The good news is this – the “bike incident” was as follows the younger boy babysitter rode and busted the tire on the little bike.  Apparently in true boy form he thought it would be fun to ride the little bikes and despite my eldest’s efforts to stop him he would not listen and wrecked one bike good.  Perhaps that puts us on even – I will not mention the bike if they do not mention my sex toy.  It seems cowardly and immature but I like the idea of a silent unspoken deal rather than an awkward straight forward conversation.


Anyway we were away for a week and so I do not know what damage was done.  In a couple of weeks I will invite them to come again.  Perhaps the girls will come but no brother.  An extra boy in my house is just not helpful.


So long story short – they never called back when I invited them to babysit again.  Surprised?  I swore off the option of ever finding a babysitter after this.  Surprised?  Indeed you would not be surprised if I shared our other babysitter adventures.

As for our new effort – when I went home after that hour everything seemed okay and the lovely girl agreed that they were very energetic but easier when I was gone.  I know she will be good but I know I have to keep her for dates only and not over do it.  In the past it has been like feast or famine – as in when I get a sitter I get her over often and try to catch up on everything.  This time I will keep it minimal – maybe that will make the difference.

We had one embarrassment but I am encouraged by the fact that she was comfortable to tell me.  When I walked her to the door I asked her how it went “really”.  She said that one of the boys asked her is she’s ever had sex and that made her uncomfortable.  Do you think??  She was actually pretty cool and non judgmental about it.  She was able to laugh and when I chatted with her mom – she also laughed.  She handled the situation well and told him that she was not “going there”.  When I told the boys I’d heard they asked some awkward questions they quickly told the story and also expressed embarrassment and acknowledgement that this is not the right thing to say.  Almost the most sorry I’ve ever seen genuinely expressed.

Another two years and my oldest can babysit – lets hope I can keep one good one until then.  I bet if you lived closer or had a flexible schedule you would help me, huh?  Look at those pictures – how could they possibly be any trouble?


~ by Nicole on April 5, 2012.

2 Responses to “Babysitters For Breakfast – It’s a Massager, REALLY”

  1. I would totally help you. LOL. And LOL some more. And ROFL. And LMAO. xoxox

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