“Snicky” Calls 911 – Again

Speaking of babysitters (read my previous post) – we once had a young girl watching the kids during the day while I worked from home. She came off and on for about three years and only once did she babysit in the evening. Things were always a little rocky with “Snicky”. The boys had nick named her this and though I tried to convince myself it was a loving pet name it really was not. It is funny how we deny these things out of desperation.  I was exhausted and really needed some relief to get work done.

The thing is “Snicky” sort of let the boys walk all over her. Early on in her visits the boys would tie her up and take her prisoner. This trend of them being sort of domineering and rude continued in all sorts of subtle ways. I regret that I let it slide but I did address it often and it was hard to read the situation. When I would ask her about it she would defend them and say they were all having fun but that motherly instinct knew different. I denied it because I felt I needed her – she was ideal “technically” and I liked her personally.

In the summer of 2011 I had given her a steady babysitting opportunity while I worked seasonally outside of the home. We had recently moved and were super stressed. I was sold on the familiar and still in denial.

One evening I got a call from her asking if she could take the boys to the zoo. I’m thinking “What the zoo?! Really – you want to take all four of my boys to the zoo?”. She wanted to take them with her mother and I was really hesitant but she convinced me. They were confident – what could go wrong? Well I will never know because after that zoo day I got an email from her mother saying that she was no longer available to babysit…….period! Well she did not say “period” but there was a period at the end of the sentence and it was just that short and brief – after almost three years of feedback that all was well.

I am not going to get into the details but I knew the mother pretty good and I knew aspects underlying that prompted me to pause, accept and not respond. I let it go and I knew it was meant to be. That motherly instinct had been calling this for so very long and I was grateful to the universe for pushing the change. I had needed to find another babysitter long ago.

Months later I did have a conversation with the mother and the young girl. We made our peace but I really did not get much feedback about that day from them. My boys were relatively clueless but did complain that the zoo had sucked – they had to spend time reading every exhibit and were not allowed to run ahead or walk off the trails. I am guessing they did not display the best reaction to this constriction. We definitely do not do the zoo that way.

So anyway yesterday we talked about “Snicky” and we all remembered the time she called 911. The boys went off talking about it and the two times the police had come to our home. Wait a second – two times? I knew they had come once but I did not know they had come two times. So this is how that story goes:

We decided to go on a date – nothing fancy and just for a couple of hours. I was calm and happy – “Snicky” had been around a long time and they were going to have some fun with popcorn and movies. We came home about 9pm to a calm home with everybody smiling.

The phone rang and I picked it up. It was the local police – somebody had called 911. Surprised I told them that all was well and that somebody must have called accidentally. “Snicky” was peaked and clued in right away – tears sprung to her eyes and I put the phone down as advised and waited for the police to come. I consoled her as she was so upset. She was also very confused and explained that she had threatened to call but had not – she’d faked a call. Now this was neither really very cool nor acceptable but I was caught up in trying to make her feel better.

The police came moments before her mother also came to the door to pick her up. We did a quick chat with the police and I continued to focus on poor “Snicky”. She felt really bad and it was an honest mistake – unusual but honest. After the cops left we brought her mom up to speed and one of the first things she said was “Again?”  Following “again” were more tears, hugs, and confusion. They went home – we went to bed but I did not forget her mother’s words or rather word. I sent an email in the morning asking what that meant and I got some story about “Snicky” calling 911 from home when she was younger.  Sounds reasonable and so I just let it go.

So yesterday the truth was revealed that “Snicky” had called 911 accidentally another time and the boys were told not to tell. What the heck??!! Oh my – denial was really thick if that was the sort of thing going on behind my back. Or was I so tired, glazed, dazed and desperate that it was all happening before my eyes?  It really does not matter though does it?  But is another reason I dread the experience of finding babysitter for four boys.

Really I think it must be hard and I will forever be grateful for all those that support me in this way during this time.  Whether it works out or not – just appreciated the effort really.  Even “Snicky” and as for the rest of you – you know who you are!

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~ by Nicole on April 6, 2012.

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