Surreal – Rock On Momma, It’s All About The Long Run

I never planned much in my life. I had baby one when I was with my life partner but also just as I was really stepping out in my career as a landscape gardener – self-employed. I got pregnant after my first successful season and knew quite well I might never get back to that. Baby two we planned though my husband can not remember that conversation only the activities that followed. Ironically the twins came along shortly after we decided to wait on having more children untill we were more certain. I bawled when I found out we were having twins. I was at my first generic ultrasound and the technician asked me if this was indeed my first ultrasound. When I said yes she turned the screen and said “look two babies”. Wow, I had come to terms with having three children and was excited – but four?! I was simply scared to death. Financially we were struggling, emotionally I found raising kids difficult and we had no support as per geography with extended family all eight plus hours away. When my husband came into the room he was quite concerned by the look on my face – tears rolling down fast, fear in my eyes but he found relief in the fact that we were having two healthy babies. I get that now.

All in all despite my lack of planning being thrust into motherhood has suited me well. I always knew I wanted a family and children over all else. So I guess in some depth of my being I expected some of this however I often find it to be surreal! I mean really I am 6, 13, and 19 all in one day even though in real-time I am 37. I have never really felt like a grown up yet I manage this household of six and support my pets – one dog and two cats. For goodness sakes not only that but I also home school my children and though I used to call myself a contractors wife I am in fact a contractor. What….little old me? Responsible and succeeding? Moi? Indeed.

So however surreal it seems I am doing it and though it is not always as good as I want I know one thing and I am confident about one thing – in the long run I rock as a mother. I will support my little men forever and I will relate to them always. I am forever humbled by life and not one thing they do will warrant my abandonment. My own parents get credit on that one – they loved me always.

So remember my soul sisters, my momma friends, and every woman or man raising children – it’s the long run that counts. Forgive the bad years, the hours of struggling, the wrong thing you did/ said and hold your head up high. That enormous well of love for your children opens your heart, forces your growth and gives you the experience that will always support. Believe in yourself first and forget the rest – parenting styles, discipline styles, educational choices………BAH FORGET IT. Honor yourself, believe in yourself and model that. Rock on momma – we love you all!

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~ by Nicole on May 23, 2012.

2 Responses to “Surreal – Rock On Momma, It’s All About The Long Run”

  1. Thank you for that great post. Well said.

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