Scars – My Man and Humour

At the end of one of my older posts “Try Stick – We Do Need Men To Be Men” – see it here https://fishtankmom.wordpress.com/2012/05/31/try-stick-we-do-need-men-to-be-men/ I made a promise of another similar story supporting the often gruff approach of men and parenting.  Here it is:

One night quite some time back my sweetie and I got at it – okay so we are not perfect and we do fight.  Late that evening my son was laying in bed and I came in to visit with him.  He looked sad and he said “The scar is still there from you and papa fighting tonight.”  So I said all that I can “I am sorry my sweetness.  I am so sorry.”  He responded “It’s not going to go away.” My heart broke.

His papa stirred and says “What won’t go away?” and so I quoted Paul.  I was filled with despair and sadness.  I am a mother and it is my job to listen, nurture and be empathetic.  So to my surprise (well not really) Papa said “The scar won’t go away for me from ALL THE FIGHTING you boys do.”  A switch went on and Paul started to laugh.  He then smiled and said “You have a strange way of making me feel better”.  His papa then proceeded to go on about the nasty festering scar he has ………….and before long we are all laughing from our belly’s.

It never ceases to amaze me how he approaches things differently than I do and I can assure you I do not dismiss feelings especially that my kids might have around fighting between parents but I am amazed how a good laugh can soften a situation.  That comment was not anywhere in my thoughts and I would never had cracked a joke but that simple sentence however non nurturing brought things to a much better place and fast.  The next day we laughed some more about papa and his comment.

I have learned over the years to let go and be open to new ways of parenting and living.  It is highly unlikely that I will ever be quick to cracking a joke but I do understand it is meaningful, purposeful and effective.  We are all available to our children with the gifts that we have – people need to understand this.  If you have a man like mine – a little tough and a little gruff perhaps way more masculine energy than feminine remember we need men to be men and let him show his love his way.

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~ by Nicole on June 13, 2012.

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