Easy To Fall Down – Surrender

It was rather easy to fall down today. It was rather easy to feel weak and sad, sorry and defeated. Half way through my yoga class I surrendered to it. I lay on my matt in the dark enough room and let the tears stream down my face. I let myself feel mad, sad, frustrated and angry. I stayed with the feeling of defeat and dread, fear and apprehension. I even stayed with the thoughts that I was fat, silly and rather useless. I let the tears flow and they weren’t exactly tears of feeling like any of that, but tears of sadness that I could be THAT hard on myself and so I cried harder.

Funny how in the end that felt like honour. Funny how after that I felt better and stronger than I would have for pushing through the class and moving angrily through the poses. That must be what SURRENDER feels like.

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~ by Nicole on June 13, 2013.

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