Loving Myself Enough

It is like a roller coaster ride, and it is so because I want it so bad but I have denied it for a very long time. So it is intense and the move has a number of challenges or my perception is that it has BIG challenges. I believe these big challenges are part of my journey and part of the lesson I really need to get once and for all. I need to love myself enough, and believe in myself enough to go for it knowing that I deserve it. By it I mean everything and anything that I ever wanted. In this case it is moving back to the most beautiful little city that I love and towards family and friends that I want to know again.

loveherself

I am moving from a province and a city that is known to have a robust economy to a city that reports high cost of living income ratios and is known for a boom and bust economy. This is what has stopped me time and time again while my heart bled and mourned for being so far away from family and so disconnected from contacts and people that I love. When I tell people about the move they say “oh wow, we would love to move there…..but we can’t”. When I hear this I am both inspired and also a wee bit intimidated. Sometimes I curse my family for raising me in such a desirable location and when I think about that it is funny because they were small town people from a Northern community that were also brave enough to move somewhere they wanted to live. I always come back to the strong realization that no matter where you are if you want it, and love it, it has a way of working out.

I have made the best of my life in the big city and far away from home. I have learned so very many lessons that I needed to learn. I will be forever grateful for 15 years here in big sky country, playing in the rivers, exploring in the foothills, visiting museums and last but not least meeting interesting and amazing people. I had my babies here and we learned the lesson of finding peace in busy traffic and seeing past the billboard signs to only notice the view in behind. We figured out how to avoid the crowds and find secret groves to play in. I thank you for the lessons great prairie city and my beautiful friends.

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~ by Nicole on January 29, 2014.

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