Keep Your Focus On The Sweetness

•February 4, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Sweetness

My boys…all four sleep in one room with two bunk beds.

I go around and lay to read with each one AND snuggle and scratch backs.

Only the oldest doesn’t plead for more time.

After I leave they often spazz and giggle….almost always borderline inappropriate.

By in by it gets quieter and eventually dead silence UNTIL my one and only 10 year old will say “good night guys”.

They all then wish each other a good night and it warms my heart every time.

It’s often hard and not perfect SO those moments are so sweet.

So I say “keep the focus on the sweetness” and trust that even on the hardest days it always comes around.

Loving Myself Enough

•January 29, 2014 • Leave a Comment

It is like a roller coaster ride, and it is so because I want it so bad but I have denied it for a very long time. So it is intense and the move has a number of challenges or my perception is that it has BIG challenges. I believe these big challenges are part of my journey and part of the lesson I really need to get once and for all. I need to love myself enough, and believe in myself enough to go for it knowing that I deserve it. By it I mean everything and anything that I ever wanted. In this case it is moving back to the most beautiful little city that I love and towards family and friends that I want to know again.

loveherself

I am moving from a province and a city that is known to have a robust economy to a city that reports high cost of living income ratios and is known for a boom and bust economy. This is what has stopped me time and time again while my heart bled and mourned for being so far away from family and so disconnected from contacts and people that I love. When I tell people about the move they say “oh wow, we would love to move there…..but we can’t”. When I hear this I am both inspired and also a wee bit intimidated. Sometimes I curse my family for raising me in such a desirable location and when I think about that it is funny because they were small town people from a Northern community that were also brave enough to move somewhere they wanted to live. I always come back to the strong realization that no matter where you are if you want it, and love it, it has a way of working out.

I have made the best of my life in the big city and far away from home. I have learned so very many lessons that I needed to learn. I will be forever grateful for 15 years here in big sky country, playing in the rivers, exploring in the foothills, visiting museums and last but not least meeting interesting and amazing people. I had my babies here and we learned the lesson of finding peace in busy traffic and seeing past the billboard signs to only notice the view in behind. We figured out how to avoid the crowds and find secret groves to play in. I thank you for the lessons great prairie city and my beautiful friends.

Why I Love Nature

•January 27, 2014 • Leave a Comment

listening to self

Dig Into The Edges

•January 22, 2014 • Leave a Comment

Dig Into The Edges

Boxes & Bins – My New Favourite Routine

•January 17, 2014 • Leave a Comment

On a lighter note and a more positive note I am also enjoying many parts of preparing to move. I got a couple of concerned messages in private from friends and so thought I better post something up just to make it clear that MOST of this is so much fun. Most of this I love and the new adventure is exactly what I need in my life right now. It is only a juggle and certainly no bigger a juggle than many other times in my life.

On that note I share with you my favourite new routine. I pack a box and then I purge a box. It feels so good to look at what we have accumulated and know that it is not necessary. Treasures that do not need to be clutter and so many things to let go of, move on from and be done with. Once a week I take a trip to Value Village to donate my boxes – usually two to three a week and the boys all know me when I come. The help unload and they send me away with new boxes. Sometimes….okay well at least half the time I go in for a little hunt but I keep it light and only pick up the prettiest and/or most practical new things.

Boxes & Bins

So as much as the waiting is hard it does have a big component of being easier in that we have time to execute. Every other move I’ve known has been quick and taking this time has huge benefits.

Thank you everybody that messaged me privately. I love you and I know you are the ones that would catch me if I ever did fall!

Racing Minds

•January 16, 2014 • Leave a Comment

My mind races ahead and I get too far forward, spinning and tripping over details of which I do not have control. I hear the call from the living room, “mom I am hungry”. Okay this is a now thing, I can deal with this and so I call back, “yes, lunch…lunch is coming”.

My mind races ahead and I get too far forward, spinning and tripping over details of which I have no control. I hear the call from the living room, “mom, when are we going to do guitar lessons”. Okay this is a now thing but not as much of a now thing as the lunch comment from earlier. I am not sure when, and I am not sure if now makes sense but probably. Probably a couple of lessons with that great teacher we know before we leave. So I call back, “yes, soon….I will make that happen for you, I promise”.

I find this one of the most challenging things about preparing and planning for such a big move. What can I do and should I do AND how do I keep up the daily routine of life while planning for such a big unknown. Every couple of days over periods of the day my mind races like this. I can always talk myself down but it’s for sure fear based thinking and not trusting.

You know that feeling when you are getting ready to jump off a cliff? You just jump and you are glad you did but if you think, consider, wonder and imagine all the worst case scenarios it gets harder. Technically I can not jump right now because although the decision has been made but we are waiting for specific obligations to wrap up and honestly I need the time for packing. So I am on the edge of that cliff and I get to choose how to think and it is harder than the edge of the cliff when you can just jump…..more time to let old habits in. Right? Imagine you are told to camp out on the edge of that cliff for 3 months before you jump? That is sort of how it feels.

I promise it is not like this for me always but today it is like this for me and actually writing about it really calms me down. I dug through some older writing and found this:

Safety Nets

I wrote this when I was dreaming this move up throughout 2013. Perhaps I should print this and put it on my fridge. What are some strategies you have used when you know your life is going to transform but you are still in preparation? How do you stay in the present moment?

Poo? “I am Confused With That Text”

•January 13, 2014 • Leave a Comment

We run a business and we have professional communications to conduct which often happens over texts. The kids make EVERYTHING interesting…even this part of our lives.

On Saturday:
Subcontractor says, “I can make that day work just need a cheque or etransfer from you so I can order materials”.

Contractor says, “in town next week”.

Subcontractor says, “great see you then”.

The following evening:
Contractor says, “poo”

Late morning the next day:
Subcontractor says, “I am confused with that text”.

Here is the proof and how the conversation ended:

Poo

IPhone to Jan9 Wasa 2014 1649

He took it really well and we all had a good chuckle. I think its a good thing our business is in the trades. We are not fancy people and the kids make sure there are no illusions.